Monday, 11 June 2012

Kicked My Dog

Jared:

(Omg! I still have 7 hours to go in my shift ugh, I would rather cut my balls with rusty razors, than talk to the rejects of the city)
Jared speaking how can I help you?

Customer:

I am so upset, I am shaking! Your driver kicked my dog!

Jared:

(Okay Jared, don't laugh don't laugh) Oh my, what happened?

Customer:

I opened the door, my little innocent dog came running out to greet the driver and your driver freaking kicked him! My dog is walking funny now. I grabbed the order and refused to pay.

Jared:

You still need to pay for the order ma am. If he did actually kick your dog, you might want to call the police.

Customer:

I'm so scared, the driver won't leave, I'm all alone. One moment my other line is beeping - hey Trish how do you answer your call waiting.

Jared:

While I wait for her to come back, I realize she said she is alone but she asked "Trish" how to answer the call waiting. That lying scamming bitch! Whore is going down!

Customer:

I'm back. So yeah, I'm not paying for this order.

Jared:

Im sorry, but didn't you say you're alone and scared?

Customer:

Yes why?

Jared:

Because I heard you ask Trish how to answer the call waiting.

Customer:

I don't know what the hell you're talking about. I'm not paying for this damn order. I'm alone and scared, your driver won't leave.

Jared:

Of course he won't leave, he wants his money! I am sorry but at this point I am unable to help you, you will need to contact corporate office between the hours of 9 am to 5 pm. (I am unable to assist you, because your a skeezy scamming biatch!)

Customer:

Fine then! Hey Trish I need a pen.

Jared:

Ohhhh so I hear Trish has made another appearance. Guess your not alone.

Customer:

Fuck you douche bag!

Jared:

That's Mr. Douche Bag to you!

Sidenote:

The driver called us later to let us know he did kick the dog and the reason he kicked the dog was because the last time he delivered food there, the dog came out and bit him. So when the dog came out after him again,he was afraid it was going to bite him again. He should have kicked the customer in the box!


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