Sunday, 20 January 2013

I'm a Philanthropist damn it!


This is a call I had, when I worked in a call centre taking calls for a company that financed credit cards.

Jared:

Thank you for calling, my name is Jared, how may I help you today?

Customer:

Yeah hi there, I was trying to use my Wal-Mart credit card and it was declined. I don't understand why.

Jared:

I can look into that for you. May I have your account number please?

Customer:

6543 1234 4321 5678

Jared:

Your name and social security number please.

Customer:

Trixi Johnson 555-123-5432

Jared:

It shows here we reduced your credit limit from $1000 to $100.

Customer:

What in Gods name is going on here boy. Why the hell would you lower my credit limit! This is my money damn it!

Jared:

It's not your money, we are lending you money. Unfortunately based on your credit report and account history we felt it necessary to lower your credit limit.

Customer:

This is absolutely ridiculous. I want my God damn money back. I need it even though I don't.

Jared:

Huh??

Customer:

I won the genetic lottery, my Grandma croaked and left me millions of dollars.

Jared:

If your a millionaire why do you need the credit card? 
(You probably killed her you crazy bitch)

Customer:

Well it's tied up legally, so I don't technically have the money right now.

Jared:

Mmmhmm. Well unfortunately I can't do anything about your credit limit.

Customer:

This is not right! I need this card to buy my fat friends clothes, I'm a philanthropist damn it!!

Jared:

Umm what haha?

Customer:

You heard me. My fat friends need clothes, you are taking that away from them.

Jared:

Umm, haha I'm sorry about that, but I still can't do anything about it.

Customer:

Can you look up my Sam's Club card, I want to see if that credit limit was lowered.

Jared:

One moment... yes unfortunately it was.

Customer:

God damn it! How am I supposed to buy my poor friends food!

Jared:

Ummm I am not sure, it sounds difficult being a philanthropist. Is there anything else I can help you with today.

Customer:

I guess not. You haven't been helpful at all.

Jared:

I am sorry to hear that. Just a reminder, if you spend $199 or more you get three months of no interest and no payments.

Customer:

Go to hell!

Jared:

Thank you for choosing Wal-Mart, have a wonderful day!



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